Since todya is Walter's 3rd birthday and we're busy celebrating I'm going to do a round up of ridiculous news stories and let you draw your own conclusions for today

Michael Vick sued by an inmate for about a kajillion dollars in a hand written lawsuit

This one is so embarassing because it's local to me:

Clemson University studies the 5 second rule 

Oh wow, this one has a video too...

Three guys try to steal an ATM, but forget it's bolted to the floor.  Umm.. someone also please tell these idiots that cash is not manufactured inside of ATM machines either...  

24 year old strikes 93 year old man repeatedly in the head with a soda can, and knocks him unconscious.. then gets shot in the throat by the 93 year old when he wakes up.  He tells police he got what he deserved.  I'd have to agree. 

Oh for heaven's sake.. get over it!  Man sues McDonald's for 13 cents.

Idiot sent to jail for destroying surveillance camera, even after he explains to police that he "didn't like the way it was looking at him"

Sheriff's Deputy assaults, arrests NC couple for displaying American flag upside down