Absolutely True

And I thought the theft of my string trimmer was bad! Imagine if someone had stolen my va-jayjay! I'd be REALLY mad then.

Anyway, in Nigeria (yeah, those crazy Nigerians ), a woman is accused of stealing a man's genitals.

The woman, a 'beer parlor' owner - that's a bar, right? - named Grace, was accused by her lover, Kingsley, of stealing his dangly bits. The pair had been dating for some time, and they spent 29 nights together before Kingsley went away to visit his family in another part of the country.

Well, while Kingsley was on vacation, he noticed that he started having problems with his weiner. He couldn't get an erection and he feared that he was becoming impotent.

Kingsley considered suicide, but then decided it might be best to consult someone before he ended it all. He decided that spiritual intervention might help. He consulted several pastors about the problem with his schlong. None of the holy men could help him, so he decided to try conventional medicine for his shrunken dick.

When no doctors could help him, he decided it was time to blame it on Grace. Grace denied that she had done anything to steal his hard ons and swore under oath that she didn't take his ding dong away from him during their lovemaking.

Kingsley said that Grace threatened him and told him that he would never be able to dip his stick again unless he played hide the salami with her one more time.

When he came back from visiting his family, he found that Grace had moved out and taken all of his stuff with her to her new residence. Kingsley found her, demanded that she return his belongings and his peter. Then he beat the living crap out of her.

Grace then went and reported Kingsley to the police for beating her up. The police called an herbalist and get this - the herbalist confirmed that Grace really had stolen Kingsley's goober by using a mirror!

Grace was then forced to have sex with Kingsley so that he could regain the use of his meat whistle. Afterwards, they promised to bring in another woman for Kingsley to test his wang on, to make sure he had his mojo back.

Grace says that she may be evicted from her place of business and her home because this trouser snake stealing incident has tarnished her reputation so badly.

Poor Grace.

euphemisms used - at least 14.

Doubt this story is true?  Here's the source:  http://allafrica.com/stories/200710150130.html
Definitely a difficult thing to understand... but there ya go.